


i can only imagine

by haikyuutrash



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Housemates, M/M, Mutual Pining, fanfics in a fanfic, i don't actually know what i'm doing, only kuroken and lev's future jobs though, rated T for lots of swearing, the internet ships kuroken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikyuutrash/pseuds/haikyuutrash
Summary: Following a series of (not so) unfortunate events, KuroKen begins to trend on the internet. Kuroo chances upon fanfiction and thinks that it's inaccurate, thus he takes matters into his own hands and writes his own. Meanwhile, Kenma discovers the world of fanfiction as well and his feelings begin to spiral out of control.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 16
Kudos: 136





	i can only imagine

**Author's Note:**

> i'm back from the void ( ﾟДﾟ)
> 
> backstory of this fic goes like this: i was doing something a few days ago and then suddenly BAM i got an idea so i had to write it :>
> 
> i don't know if this concept has been done (although i'm very sure somewhere it exists because i can't be the first) but i hope it's still unique anyway (._.')
> 
> just a small disclaimer: i’m sorry if anything in here, particularly the excerpts of fics, comes out really similar to something that exists ;~; i came up with all the plot lines, either with commonly-used tropes or random ideas that my discord friends gave me, so i promise it’s not intentional

[Kodzuken] **i play end world for 24 hours** \--- LIVE  
_1,497,225 views • 4 November 2018_

.

It’d been close to three-quarters of a day since Kenma had last gotten off his seat. It was comfortable, though, and he still had more to go before he’d be able to end his stream. Twenty-four hours, he’d promised his viewers, so he was living up to the expectations he’d set for himself. It wasn’t as if he’d never done this before. The last time, he’d gone up to forty-six hours and twenty-eight minutes before a certain someone had barged into the room, urging him to stop gaming and get some rest.

This time, he’d ensured that he'd closed the door. Not like that had ever stopped his housemate from entering in the middle of the stream, claiming that he had good intentions of taking care of Kenma. Which was really believable, and Kenma wouldn’t mind, if only he didn’t constantly get so close that Kenma would panic, worried that his friend’s face would be on camera. Speaking of which, had he told Kuroo about the stream? Kenma took a moment to think, then shrugged off the thought. He probably did. Probably.

Kenma had always been a private person. Yeah, he was the “world-famous Kodzuken”, as his best friend (who also happened to be his housemate) liked to tease him with, but that didn’t mean he wanted his personal life being plastered all over the internet. He’d seen it happen to other famous people before, and every time he came across one of those gossip magazines or photograph-leaking articles, his nose would scrunch up in disapproval of the inconsideration.

His eyes drifted briefly to the live chatbox as he waited for the cut-scene of the game to finish playing. It was rather entertaining to see what his viewers thought about his gaming, and the frequent reminder to take care of himself motivated him to continue, even if he’d keep a straight face and hide any smiles that begged to surface.

.

 **catgirl82849** kodzuken!! you look tired, take care of yourself!!  
**kodzuken_notice_me** how are you so good at this omgggg  
**YEEHAW** It’s been a while since your friend appeared on video! Is he coming back soon?  
**fangirl05** ooo yeah ^^^ he’s cool  
**catgirl82849** let kodzu decide!! :> every video is great anyway!!!!!

.

Ah, right. He should’ve guessed that they’d talk about him again. Ever since Kuroo had playfully requested to join in one of Kenma’s videos, and Kenma had surprisingly agreed, it’d become somewhat a habit for Kuroo to participate in the multiplayer games, especially during the weekend when he didn’t have to go to work. However, Kenma had made a request, which’d stuck throughout their weekly gaming --- Kuroo was never to show his face.

“If they find out who you are,” Kenma had said, “they’d start searching for you on social media and do lots of strange things.” He didn’t want to think about what the “strange things” were, only that they were strange and he was better off in oblivion.

The music from the video game prompted him to resume his expedition to fight the final boss of the stage, so Kenma pushed his thoughts aside and began typing at his keyboard again, fingers moving swiftly over the WASD keys, other hand secured over the computer’s mouse. He was almost at the end of the twenty-fifth stage in less than a day --- a huge accomplishment, even for himself. _More than halfway done,_ he thought, the faintest trace of a satisfied smile on his face.

The melodic sound effects and background tunes continued to play. The gamer continued to stare intently at his avatar slaying the creatures that came his way. The chat continued to discuss the stranger that’d appeared on camera. The monsters in the game continued to---

_Wait, what?_

Kenma’s eyes made a mad dash for the chatbox when he noticed that the comments had become unrelated to the game and more related to someone having entered the camera’s field of vision. A feeling of dread overtook him and his eyes widened, simultaneous to his avatar being slain, though that was the least of his concerns at present time.

.

 **YEEHAW** Speak of the devil-  
**rk.nnn** wait but he’s showing his face are you sure that’s him  
**fangirl05** HE JUST SAID KENMA AND YEAH IT'S DEF HIS VOICE  
**kxry** oh god he’s hot  
**fangirl05** ASJDKLAJDASJDAS

.

“Kuro?” Kenma said, his voice coming out harsh as he turned away from the screen that was flashing the words “GAME OVER” and looked at his best friend who had an equally shocked expression on his face.

“Are you... _streaming_?!” he exclaimed, then quickly backed out of the camera’s view, but clearly not before hundreds of thousands of fans had seen his face. “Oh my god, Kenma, I’m so sorry I didn’t know,” he started apologising profusely, and Kenma shook his head, realising that maybe he didn’t tell Kuroo about the day’s plan, after all.

The two vanished off the screen after Kenma took off his headphones, muted his microphone, and dragged the other to a part of the room that couldn’t be seen. “My bad,” he said, even if he felt an unreasonable feeling of irritation, not at Kuroo specifically but just the fact that his fans had gotten the biggest glimpse into his personal life. He let out a long sigh he didn’t know he’d been holding in. “I’ll be done soon, I just need to end the stream.” He definitely wasn’t in the mood to continue --- not when his mind was throwing unnecessary concerns at him.

“Kenma---” Kuroo started, but Kenma sat down and put his headphones back on his head, cutting out his voice.

“Sorry for the delay,” Kenma said to his viewers in a monotonous voice. “We’ll be ending here today...a little earlier than expected. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed the stream and have a good day.” He ended it before he could see any more of the comments flooding the chat. The monitor went blank when he shut off the computer, his reflection staring back at him like it was laughing at his misery. Even if it wasn’t laughing at all.  
  


* * *

  
  
Five hours of sleep, which honestly just consisted of Kenma tossing and turning in bed, wasn’t nearly sufficient to prepare Kenma for what he’d see when he switched on his phone and found out three things:

One, as expected, the fans indeed had gone searching for the man in his video, coming back with Kuroo’s social media accounts in the span of time Kenma had been contemplating his life decisions. People were really fast at these things. Internet stalking sure was a scary thing that Kenma would like to stay far, far away from.

Two, Kenma had been mentioned in posts practically ten times as much as usual, most of which were merely asking him about his relationship with Kuroo and how they’d gotten to know each other. Some of the barrages of messages he’d gotten on various platforms made it seem like an interrogation, and Kenma conveniently ignored them.

Three, people thought they had chemistry. Quoting one of the Tweets he’d seen, “oH MY GAWD they get along so well it’s cute aaaaaaaaaa have you seen their videos? their bickering is adorable omg and the way kuroo looks at him so softly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Part of him wondered how someone could have so many exclamation marks in one sentence. Then again, knowing his friend Shouyou, it was very possible.

Looking blankly at his phone, Kenma didn’t know which of the three discoveries was the worst.

.

 **kodzuken’s biggest fan** _@kodzukenfan1_  
I FOUND THE MYSTERY PERSON’S INSTA https://www.instagram.com/tetsukuroo/

> **cy** _@justsomebodyrandom_  
>  holy shit he has pics with kodzuken  
>  **なみ** _@nxmiii__  
>  cuteee

.

He made a mental note to tell Kuroo to set his account as a private one. And as if on cue, there was a knock on the bedroom door. “Come in,” Kenma said loudly, and the door clicked open to reveal his housemate, dressed in a dark green tank top and grey sweatpants.

Closing the door gently as though he was afraid that he was disrupting something, Kuroo entered the room, taking a seat cross-legged at the edge of Kenma’s bed. They’d been close since young, so something like that was natural and unspoken between them. “You saw what happened,” Kuroo read the look on Kenma’s face and the younger male sighed. “I’m sorry,” Kuroo said again, “I should’ve knocked before---”

“It’s fine,” Kenma interrupted. “It’s over, anyway. And it’s my fault too for not telling you about the stream.” Keeping his phone aside and ignoring the buzzing noises of notifications, the boy hugged his pillow to his chest, burying his face in it as strands of black hair with bleached tips framed either side of his face.

“If you’d like, I can go on social media and tell them it was a mistake and that they’re imagining things.” Kenma’s eyes flickered up to see an earnest look on Kuroo’s face.

He groaned, rolling onto his side, still hugging the pillow. “Like they’ll believe it,” he mumbled, howbeit grateful for the offer. “It’s better to leave it...it’ll be forgotten sooner or later.” At least, that was what he hoped would happen. Everything would die down eventually, so this couldn’t possibly be an exception. He’d just gotten unlucky this time.

Kuroo shrugged, nonetheless looking a bit remorseful. “Anything I can do to make it up to you?” he asked.

Kenma thought for a while, then nodded his head. “Apple pie,” he stated, and Kuroo laughed.

“Should’ve guessed as much.” The older male lay down on his back, hands resting over his abdomen as he stared at the ceiling with a smile.

Before any further conversation could ensue, Kenma felt a vibration through the blankets, attributing it to his phone. He pouted at Kuroo, supposedly to say that he didn’t want to see any more Kodzuken gossip or he’d combust. And he might, if it had been physically possible. His best friend smirked, head turned to the side so he was looking at Kenma, who reluctantly picked up his device and with his arms extended in front of him, not bothering to shift from his position.

Much to his surprise, it wasn’t another fan account tagging him in a post, but a notification from a group chat that’d become highly inactive in the past few years --- the Nekoma boys’ volleyball chat from Kenma’s second year.

.

 **lev:**  
I’M BACK IN TOKYO!!!!!

 **yaku:**  
great.

 **lev:**  
YAKU-SANNNN

 **yaku:**  
remember when this chat was peaceful and quiet? yeah, so do i

 **lev:**  
:(

 **sou:**  
LEV!!!

 **lev:**  
HIII

 **kuro:**  
its 6am ffs go back to sleep

 **yaku:**  
says you

 **lev:**  
KUROO-SAN

 **kuro:**  
oh look yakkun its your favourite junior

 **lev:**  
:D  
wait why did i text here again-  
OH YEAH  
WE SHOULD MEET UP!!!!!

.

Kenma made a face, stretching his body before relaxing into the mattress, gaze meeting Kuroo’s. “C’mon, we haven’t seen them in years,” Kuroo coaxed, and as much as he didn’t want to leave the house, Kenma knew that what Kuroo said did make sense. And he wouldn’t admit it either, but he did miss his team.

“Fine,” he said, trying to look hard-hearted towards the matter but failing at that. “And I want apple pie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner today.”

Kuroo huffed. “Kenma! You can’t have apple pie for lunch and dinner!”

“Why not?” Kenma retorted in a monotonous voice.

“Because it’s not healthy!” Kuroo said, reaching his hand over and flicking Kenma’s forehead gently. “As your housemate, it’s my duty to make sure that you eat all your meals properly _and_ get enough rest. That also means that you should go back to bed now.”

Kenma threw his pillow at Kuroo, who caught it and placed it at the head of the bed. Feeling his eye bags so heavy that they might just drop to the floor, Kenma flipped onto his other side, closing his eyes as he felt the mattress lift when Kuroo left.  
  


* * *

  
  
**Trending**

Kodzuken  
_302K Tweets_

#catsvscucumbers  
_96.3K Tweets_

kuroo tetsurou  
_172K Tweets_

#kuroken  
_67.5K Tweets_

Minecraft  
_54K Tweets_

.

[Best Compilations] **every moment where Tetsurou smiles at kenma**  
_632,590 views • 5 November 2018_

 **xthxrys** the way. he looks. at kodzuken.  
**i’m bored** Can’t blame him, Kodzuken is gorgeous.

> **kodzuken’s #1 fan** TRUE

.

[nyl.ax] **5 minutes of KuroKen**  
_112,421 views • 5 November 2018_

 **anime fan** Is it just me or does anyone else ship them?

> **kodzuken’s #1 fan** omg they do look good together!!  
>  **itxz.a** idk man it’s weird to ship irl people  
>  **愛** Does kodzuken call him kuro or what?  
>  **kodzuken’s #1 fan** i think he does!!

.

“...What’s ‘KuroKen’?”

At his best friend’s voice, Kuroo looked up in surprise, blinking a few times to clear his mind. “Sorry, what was that?” he asked, moving closer to Kenma on the couch and peering over his shoulder at his phone’s screen.

“‘KuroKen’,” Kenma deadpanned. “It’s been trending on social media, along with our names.”

Kuroo opened his mouth to come up with some sort of reply, only to find himself speechless. “What the heck,” he said, more of a flat statement than a question. “Hold on, let me check.” He whipped out his phone from his pocket, keying in exactly what Kenma had said. The more he looked through the search results, the more his brows furrowed and he looked concerned. “It’s a...ship.”

“A what?”

“A ship,” Kuroo repeated. “It’s basically where someone thinks that two or more people should be together...romantically.” Only after the words left his lips did he realise what that meant. People on the internet thought that he and Kenma should be together. And frankly, that was completely fine...

...if only he wasn’t already head over heels for his best friend.

“It’s nothing,” Kuroo hurriedly added with a nervous laugh before Kenma could say anything. “Don’t worry about it. People on the internet always do strange things.” He shut his phone off and left it beside him, deliberately not closing the tab so that he could revisit it later, out of pure curiosity. Kenma looked very unconvinced, but he spared Kuroo the awkwardness of the situation by shrugging and returning to look through his social media.

It’d been years since he’d first come to the conclusion that he had a massive crush on Kenma. That fateful day had been like any other, with him and Kenma strolling down the pavements lining the roads as they headed home. And the light had shone down from the streetlamps that they passed, casting a warm glow onto Kenma that reflected off his eyes, making Kuroo take in a sharp breath at how ethereal his best friend looked and how much he wanted to lean in and kiss him and--- _oh_. Thus had come the realisation, especially as he paid more attention to his thoughts and actions, that he was very much in love with Kenma.

Glancing at Kenma who seemed to have already forgotten everything of the past few minutes, Kuroo didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed (nobody said he couldn’t do both). He exhaled deeply, standing and picking up his device, heading to the kitchen to get some food and hopefully get his mind off this situation. By all laws of logic and whatnot, this shouldn’t affect him so much. And yet, thanks and no thanks to him being stupidly in love with someone who’d probably never return his feelings, it did.

At night, Kuroo lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The fan continued to rotate, over and over as if it was trying to hypnotise him. Several questions had been bugging him throughout the day, all of which had to do with how social media had erupted into a discussion about his relationship with Kenma. “i think they’re dating tbh,” one of the replies to a Tweet had said, and Kuroo could only chuckle miserably and wish it were true. No way would someone like Kenma ever like him --- they were polar opposites.

Sitting upright a little too abruptly such that his head spun a few rounds, Kuroo pressed his fingers to his temple and rubbed it for a few seconds, easing the dizziness. He fumbled his hands around the bedside table, eventually taking his phone and turning it on. In the darkness, the glare was strong and he spent a while adjusting to the brightness before moving to sit comfortably against the bed’s headboard.

 _KuroKen,_ he typed in the search bar after opening the search engine application. He wasn’t sure what he intended to do with this, only that he needed some sort of understanding as to what was going on. So he could help Kenma if he needed anything, he reminded himself. That was ~~far from~~ the only reason he was doing this.

.

** kuroken **  
_About 1,220,000 results_

**KuroKen | Shipping Database**

**#kuroken hashtag on Instagram • Photos and Videos**

**#kuroken | Tumblr**

**The Ultimate KuroKen Playlist | YouTube**

**Kenma Kozume/Tetsurou Kuroo | FanFics.org**

.

Kuroo’s eyes lingered on one of the links for longer than he presumably should’ve. They’d _really_ figured out Kenma’s name, even if he’d never used it in any publicity material. Some kind of fans. Kuroo frowned, clicking the link absent-mindedly. He’d heard of fanfiction before, but never really got down to reading any of it. There wasn’t anything he was interested in reading. Although this...he was undeniably at least a _little_ interested to know how people wrote him.

There were already more than a hundred pieces of writing, which was unexpected because, _hasn’t it only been a few days?_ Kuroo scrolled down the first page, eyes scanning through the tags and brief descriptions that the works had. He was tempted --- _very_ tempted --- to check out some of them. It’d be funny, wouldn’t it? Or at the very least, it’ll fuel his fantasies. Not that he had any, of course.

.

**A Little Risky --- queen_of_shipping**

.

_The school bell rang, snapping Tetsurou out of his trance. Three hours to practice, he thought as he glanced at the clock. He stood up from his seat, keeping his stationery in his pencil case and then into his bag, zipping it up. With his backpack slung behind him, Tetsurou walked out of his classroom, too lost in his thoughts to hear whatever his classmates were chattering about._

_“Kuro,” he heard a familiar voice say and looked up, seeing his best friend who was a grade below him standing outside his classroom. Tetsurou smiled, looking into Kenma’s beautiful golden eyes. “I was waiting for you, what took you so long?”_

_God, that sweet melodic voice was always enough to break him. “Had to finish up an essay,” Tetsurou answered. The two of them started to walk down the corridor. “Hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long.”_

_“It’s fine,” Kenma mumbled, shrugging in indifference._

_Staring at Kenma, Tetsurou felt his heart swell._ It’s just a crush, _he told himself,_ it’s no problem. _It’d been there for weeks, ever since that day that Kenma had visited him after basketball practice and he’d looked so beautiful under the gym lights that Tetsurou couldn’t help but blush at the sight of him. He had suppressed it for days, but every once in a while, it’d resurface in his head and he’d wish he had the courage to say something about it._ Just a crush. __

 _They turned at the end of the walkway and into the empty staircase. Tetsurou’s heart was racing and he kept repeating the same four words in his head, trying to calm himself down, only to no avail._ It’s just a crush. __

_“Kuro, are you okay?” Kenma said all of a sudden, and Tetsurou’s head snapped in his direction, his face heating up and causing Kenma to look at him in confusion._

_“I love you,” Tetsurou blurted out, only registering his speech when it’d left him._

.

The black-haired man stopped reading, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. What the hell had that been? He hadn’t used a backpack in high school, neither had he played basketball as a club activity in his life. Furthermore, it was always him looking for Kenma, never the other way round because the younger male didn’t like being amidst the third year classrooms after his bad experiences in his first year. But of course, there was no way some random stranger on the internet could know all of that.

The memories of his high school days coming back to Kuroo and he wore a sullen look. Yeah, right. He could write it a lot more accurately than this person ever could. It was... _bizarre_ to see someone writing from his point-of-view. Still, Kuroo looked at his phone again, skimming through the rest of the story until one scene, in particular, caught his attention more than any other.

.

_Tetsurou slammed his hand against the wall in the janitor’s closet, trapping Kenma and preventing him from escaping. Although, from the look on Kenma’s face, he had no plans to do so. “You have no clue how long I’ve been waiting to do this,” Tetsurou murmured, leaning down and connecting his lips with Kenma’s, kissing him like there was no tomorrow._

_“K-Kuroo...” Kenma whimpered, sliding his arms around Tetsurou’s neck, his body arching into Tetsurou’s as they kissed each other passionately, their tongues battling for dominance. After what seemed like an eternity, Kenma gently broke the kiss, a bead of saliva remaining between them, and whispered, “What if s-someone comes in?_

_“No one’s gonna come in at this time,” Tetsurou said in a deep voice without hesitation, kissing all of Kenma’s doubts away till Kenma was backed against the wall, never once letting go._

.

Woah, woah, _woah_. Kuroo dropped his phone onto his lap, taking in a sharp inhale. That had moved _so_ fast. How many words had it been since fictional Tetsurou had confessed? A hundred? Five hundred? Well, definitely less than a thousand. “Oh my god,” he maffled. He honestly didn’t know what to think about that. His mind was screaming about how it’d been his worst idea yet to read that, but some other parts of him thought otherwise.

A shaky breath slipped out of the small gap between his lips and Kuroo picked up his phone with his thumb and index finger like it was some germ-covered object that he was repulsed to touching. Swiping the tab away, his shoulders sagged and he slumped against the headboard of the bed, suddenly regretting the very moment he walked in on Kenma’s stream. Maybe he should’ve knocked.

Regardless, his mind had been tainted for the night and he had things to take care of. “Tch,” he clicked his tongue in frustration, getting off the bed and trudging to the bathroom. There was a loud thud as Kuroo’s hands landed at either side of the sink and he stared at his reflection in the mirror. _Pull yourself together,_ he chastised himself. _It’s just a damn fanfic._ He cupped some cold water in his hands and splashed it at his face. He swore he was never doing this again.  
  


* * *

  
  
Kuroo had lied.

No more than a few days after he’d read that high school AU (which he’d later found to mean “alternate universe”), and it’d stuck in his mind despite how inaccurate he thought it to be. However, he was certain that nobody in the world but him and Kenma could write about their relationship the way it truly was. Notwithstanding that, a few other titles he’d seen on the website kept urging him to revisit it.

And so he did. Close to midnight, after he’d stopped by Kenma’s room to find him asleep and kissed his forehead (platonically), Kuroo stationed himself on his bed, seated cross-legged with his laptop on his lap. There _had_ to be at least one piece of fanfiction that he liked, so he had made it his goal to find it.

.

**our hearts (will never) beat in sync --- nvxtz**

.

_“On the day you turn eighteen, the name of your soulmate will be engraved as a mark on your body.”_

_Ever since he was young, Kenma had always known about soulmates. They were said to be magical --- a sign from the universe that sealed the fate of lovers. It was said that the person’s name on your wrist was your perfect match, the one person that was more fitted for you than anyone else in the world. Of course, he’d also been told that not everything had a happy ending. Not everyone had a mark: some never got a mark even when they were way past their twenties; some had faded marks, indicating that their soulmate was no longer in this world; and in several heartbreaking cases, some people had found that their soulmates had someone else’s name._

_Kenma had never cared about soulmates, not until the day that he looked at his best friend and realised that_ oh no _, he’d fallen for him. There was no way Tetsurou could like him back. They were opposites --- one was so extroverted and sociable, the other was reserved and would rather spend his days in his room playing video games. But if only the universe was kind...maybe he could have his happy-ever-after._

.

 _Extroverted?_ Kuroo fought the urge to laugh. It was the seventh fanfiction he’d read, but none of those he’d seen could really capture his relationship with Kenma or their personalities, according to him. He’d been immensely shy the first time he met Kenma, and in fact, it’d been Kenma who’d brought him out of his bubble. But what the work had said about them being opposites hit him hard because that same thought had been bothering him for the longest time. Indeed, Kenma had ended up enjoying volleyball and now was happy with his career, but Kuroo couldn’t help but worry that he’d forced Kenma into something at some point in time and that Kenma would be better off without him. He frowned, pushing his thoughts aside as he pinned his hopes on the fanfiction’s claim that it could still be a happy ending for them and kept reading.

.

_黒尾 鉄朗_

_Kenma’s gaze landed on the words lining his wrist, his eyes tearing up and a smile forming on his face. They weren’t just best friends, they were_ soulmates _. His smile grew wider and he quickly washed his face to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. This was the best birthday gift he could ask for. If the universe believed in him and Tetsurou, then who could stop them? Kenma_ had _to tell Tetsurou about this._

_“Kenma! Where are you going?” his mother asked as he walked briskly to the door, only slipping on a jacket over his t-shirt and trousers._

_“Kuro’s,” Kenma said. “I’ll be back by dinner.” His mother didn’t ask any more, or if she did, Kenma didn’t hear it past the closing of his door and his racing heart._

_After half an hour of a subway ride, Kenma arrived at his best friend’s house and rang the doorbell, to which Tetsurou’s mother opened it after a single ring. “Kenma-kun,” she said, sounding surprised, “what are you doing here?”_

_“I need to talk to Kuro,” Kenma answered confidently. He’d gathered his courage on the way to the house, deciding that if they were meant to be, he had to tell Tetsurou how he felt._

_Tetsurou’s mother looked at him for a while before moving aside to let him in. “He’s with a friend now so---”_

_Kenma nodded, not hearing what else she said before rushing up the stairs to Tetsurou’s room. He could hear voices behind the door, concluding that it was Tetsurou’s friend. He didn’t want to eavesdrop on purpose, but he figured that he should probably make sure he wasn’t interrupting anything before he entered. Keeping quiet so he could hear the voices inside, Kenma listened._

_“Mmph...Tetsu...” Kenma heard a muffled feminine voice. He must have misheard it. Why would there be a girl in the house?_

_His best friend’s voice was next, as clear as day. “I love you,” he said in a low voice and more sounds followed that made Kenma’s blood drain, “my soulmate.” And that was the last straw._

_Kenma burst the door open before he could think, his eyes widening and his face turning pale at the sight of his best friend pinning a girl he’d never seen in his life to the wall, both of them in a suggestive position and the girl with her top already cast on the floor. Only a few seconds after the interruption did they stop kissing, Tetsurou turning to look at Kenma in shock and horror._

_“Kenma?” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “What are you doing here?”_

_The boy at the doorway choked back a sob, clamping his hand over his mouth. So the universe did hate him, after all. Tetsurou was Kenma’s soulmate...but Kenma wasn’t Tetsurou’s. “I’m s-sorry,” he managed to get out before he turned around and bolted away, wishing there was some way to turn back time and erased what he’d seen from his memory._

.

Kuroo threw his phone across the mattress. What the _fuck_ was that? How could Kenma not be his soulmate? He let out a frustrated groan, wishing he had never read that because a feeling of loss was starting to grow within him. _It’s just a fanfic,_ he told himself, wishing he’d read the tags before proceeding.

He’d never hurt Kenma like that. Even if Kenma wasn’t his soulmate, to _hell_ with the soulmate marks. He’d choose Kenma all the same. Kuroo fell onto his side on the bed, hugging his blanket to his chest. It’d been sad, though. If that was the intention of the writer, then they’d definitely succeeded. He reached for his phone again, carefully and hesitantly like it was some pestilence.

 _Fuck you, universe._ Kuroo scowled at the black screen and at his reflection. _Fuck you, fake Tetsurou._ He logged in just to swipe out the tab before leaving his phone on his bedside table and forcing himself to fall asleep.  
  


* * *

  
  
Three days had passed in the blink of an eye and Kuroo’s traitorous mind wouldn’t stop bringing up that damn fanfiction about soulmates. “Kuroo, you alright?” one of his colleagues at the Japan Volleyball Association asked, and Kuroo merely nodded. What was he supposed to say? That he was devastated after reading fanfiction about himself and his crush?

“Is there something I need to do?” he changed the topic, sitting upright on his swivel chair and looking at his colleague, crossing one leg over the other and twirling his pen mindlessly in his right hand, a half-hearted smirk on his face to mask his dispiritedness..

“We need more publicity,” his colleague explained. “Recently, there’s been a new addition to the MSBY Black Jackals, Hinata Shouyou. Apparently, he was a pretty known player back in his high school days too.”

“If I could rope in a world-famous YouTuber Kodzuken _and_ Hinata for some publicity, how does that sound?” he asked. He had immediately thought of Kenma, who’d been good friends with Hinata since high school. He’d bet that they’d like to work together.

His colleague thought for a while, then said, “Sounds good to me.” He walked away to return to his desk and Kuroo glanced at his computer screen, tempted to read another piece of fanfiction during his break, but also afraid to get his heart broken again. Which would explain why he hadn’t read any in the past three days, even if part of him just wanted something to make him forget that angsty soulmate work.

And that was the moment when an _amazing_ (read: awful) idea struck him. If he was always lamenting about how inaccurate everything was, and if he wanted the outcomes in his control, why not write his own? He spun his chair to face his desk, hands banging onto the desk’s surface, earning a few weird looks from his colleagues that he dismissed with a sheepish smile. Now he had something to do after work.

.

**Forever Yours --- kodzukens_no.1_fan**

.

Kuroo eyed the username he’d chosen. It was unoriginal, but it was also something that wouldn't draw suspicion. It’d be terrible for someone to find out that Kuroo Tetsurou himself had written fanfiction about KuroKen. Plus it was also true --- he was Kenma’s biggest fan. _Time to write,_ he mused, hoping that his inspiration would come as he started. And it turned out that it was second nature to him, because ultimately, everything he’d written was just a reflection of his life.

.

 _Seated across Kenma at the library, Tetsurou gazed at the golden orbs that could challenge the stars. Kenma was_ beautiful _\--- he always was --- and Tetsurou wished he could reach his hand over and thread his fingers through that silky black hair bleached at the ends, or lean in and plant a chaste kiss on his forehead, or maybe even capture his lips in an affectionate kiss. Tetsurou was gone on Kenma, as he had been for the longest time._

_“Kuro?” he heard a tender voice say and snapped out of his daze, the faintest blush tinting his cheeks. Kenma looked at him, his cat-like eyes meeting Tetsurou’s. “What’s wrong?”_

__Nothing, _Tetsurou wanted to say,_ you’re perfect _. But knowing better, he kept his mouth shut and shook his head. Kenma looked at him for a while longer, as though trying to analyse him and read his mind. And if he could, Tetsurou wouldn’t be surprised, because Kenma had always been that good at reading people._

_To his relief, however, Kenma looked back down at the chemistry assignment in front of him, pouting in that ever so adorable way. “Having trouble?” Tetsurou guessed, and Kenma nodded with a sigh. “Come sit,” he continued, shifting to one side of his seat to make space for Kenma as he moved the paper to in front of him. “I’ll help you.”_

_Without a word, Kenma walked around the table and shared Tetsurou’s seat, listening as the older male began to write on his paper with a mechanical pencil, circling some parts of the question and writing out equations. “I think I get it now,” Kenma said after a while, and Tetsurou put the pencil down, smiling in content at being able to help._

_Kenma took a pen from his pencil case across the table, beginning to write and not bothering to return to his seat. Tetsurou watched him writing, nodding at the accurate answers and then tilting his head just enough to catch a glimpse at Kenma. And that was when he felt his heart stop. He hadn’t realised how close they were, so much that an inch’s movement would be sufficient for him to kiss his best friend._ No, no, no, _he scolded, slapping himself internally. He shouldn't be thinking this about Kenma._

_“---Kuro?”_

_Tetsurou flinched mildly at his name, realising he’d spaced out and missed what Kenma had said._ What did you say? _he wanted to ask, but what came out instead, with his voice at the verge of breaking, was, “I think...I’m in l-love with you.”_

_The younger of the two blinked, and Tetsurou was overtaken by colossal fear. Had he just messed everything up? Was it too late to take his words back? Maybe he should just say it was a mistake. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t string his thoughts into a coherent sentence._

_“You...think?” Kenma asked quietly, and if Tetsurou hadn’t been paying attention, he might not have heard him. But he had been, and so he did._

_“I_ know _,” he corrected, much to his own horror because he’d destroyed every possible means of salvaging the situation. So since he’d gotten here, might as well continue and say what he wanted to before coming up with some impossible way to pretend nothing had to change. “I’ve loved you since...forever. I realised in my last year in junior high, when we were walking home and I...I looked at you. Then it made sense...the reason why every time I’m with you, I feel a little lighter, and every time I see you smile, I just want to kiss that smile off your face and---shit, I’m so sorry, Kenma...” His voice faded away and he buried his face in his hands, unwilling to even see Kenma’s reaction._

_Only when he felt Kenma gently taking his hands did Tetsurou dare to look at him, seeing that Kenma’s face was somewhat red as well, and that nervous expression he wore when talking about something emotionally-related to him was evidently there. How could someone be so fucking cute? Kuroo wondered._

_“I like you too,” Kenma finally said, voice shrinking with every word. Tetsurou pinched his arm under the table._ No way _Kenma liked him, he had to be dreaming...but he wasn’t. Tetsurou didn’t know what he’d done to deserve this, but whatever it was, he was glad it’d happened._

 _“Kenma...” Tetsurou drawled, wrapping his arms around Kenma in a hug, feeling like he could burst into tears any second because_ damn _, this had to be the best day of his life yet. “I love you so much...” he whispered. And he didn’t expect Kenma to reciprocate his words, but knowing that it wasn’t a one-sided feeling was more than enough for him._

.

He couldn’t comprehend how long he’d been writing for, but when he finally lifted his eyes off the laptop screen, the dim glow of moonlight had broken through the gaps between the curtains and the window sill, lighting up an insignificant portion of his room. A brief look at the corner of his screen showed the time to be around two in the morning, leaving him with a few more hours if he wanted to catch up on sleep.

Kuroo sighed, deciding he didn’t have time to read through his writing once more, although it was less than five thousand words. Truth to be told, he was pleased by how it’d turned out --- it was an actual event that’d occurred, minus the confession and everything after. Hopefully, Kenma would never notice this. And if he did, Kuroo would just brush it off as a coincidence.

The mouse lingered over the button to post the work for a few seconds that seemed like much longer. Eventually, he bit his lips and exhaled, clicking the button and then shutting off his laptop before any reaction could come in.  
  


* * *

  
  
The night (or early morning) passed with Kuroo fidgeting endlessly in bed, head filled without thoughts about the fanfiction he’d written and whether or not it would be well-received and whether or not it’d give away his identity. Hopefully not the latter. He gave up trying to sleep several hours later, taking his laptop onto the blanket and opening it, shading his eyes at the sudden refulgence.

He was astounded to find multiple messages in his email’s inbox, most of which came from the fanfiction website. Had it really been that popular overnight? The man clicked one of the messages, afterwards being directed to the website where he’d posted his work.

.

 **y_rin** oml this is so well-characterized wtf i love it-

 **fangirl05** OMG CUTE <3

 **kodzuuu.k** i loved every moment of this??? i love your writing :’D

.

Kuroo spent the next ten minutes looking through every comment, smiling silently despite not replying to any of them just as a precaution to avoid exposing himself. It was comforting to see that people supported his depictions of himself and Kenma, although it only made him wish that at that point in time, he’d done things the way fictional Tetsurou had. Although there was no guarantee that the real Kenma would return his feelings.

There was a sharp knock on the door and Kuroo panicked, closing the tab and his laptop, the second action causing a louder sound than he’d have liked. “K-Kenma,” he said, wiping away any previous look on his face in favour of a warm smile, as if he hadn’t been reading comments on a fanfiction he’d written of himself and the person standing by the doorway. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Kenma replied, covering his mouth in a yawn and then rubbing his eyes. He was dressed in an oversized shirt which turned out to be Kuroo’s after a moment of deliberation. He’d probably stolen it before the laundry had been kept. Kuroo definitely didn’t mind at all.

How was it legal for him to look like this? The older male gripped his blanket tightly and subdued a small whine of weakness. “What’re you doing here?” he asked once he’d regained his composure.

“There’s no more cereal,” Kenma said, tugging at the hem of his shirt with either hand.

Kuroo put his laptop aside, getting off his bed. “I’ll get changed and we can go out for breakfast,” he suggested, and his best friend agreed, vanishing into some other part of their shared apartment.

The rest of the day passed in a breeze, but not without Kuroo’s mind constantly drifting back to the thought of kissing Kenma in the library.  
  


* * *

  
  
**lev_the_tall_guy**  
been forever since i’ve met the team!! was great to meet again :D scroll for old pics!!!!!  
_18 November 2018_  
\---  
**yaku.morisuke3** smh you haven’t changed  
**lev_the_tall_guy** @yaku.morisuke3 i grew taller!!!!!

.

Between the username and the caption were a few images, the cover being a group picture they’d taken at the cafe during their reunion, while the other pictures consisted of some random images Lev had captured as well as the final slide being an old picture of their Nekoma boys’ volleyball team.

And there was nothing wrong with that. Not at all...except for the fact that Kuroo and Kenma were together in the picture and this would only be more material for the KuroKen shippers to scream about (curse you, Lev, for having a public account). Kenma tilted his head so the back of his skull rested against the top of the couch and let out a groan.

“What’s wrong?” his best friend asked, and Kenma turned his head to the side with half of his face pressed against the cushion.

“Lev,” Kenma said with an impassive look on his face.

Kuroo laughed. “His post?” he hypothesised, and Kenma rolled his head back to stare at the ceiling, a wordless acknowledgement and confirmation. “Can’t be that bad, no one’s gonna see it.”

He was very, very wrong.

.

 **kuroken updates** _@krkn_updates_  
OH MY GOD LOOK WHAT THE MODEL HAIBA LEV POSTED https://www.instagram.com/lev_the_tall_guy/

> **kodzuken’s biggest fan** _@kodzukenfan1_  
>  what. the. HECK. they knew each other since high school???? and they played volleyball together??????  
>  **J ♡** _@jki15_  
>  Can you hear the shippers screaming? Because I can-  
>  **just your friendly neighbourhood girl** _@_thmxnte_  
>  new fanfic material :0

.

Kenma had an extraordinary urge to delete all his social media accounts and move to the mountains and spend the rest of his life in isolation. “KuroKen” had been trending all over social media and Kenma absolutely hated it. Why were they shipping him with his best friend? It wasn’t like Kuroo could ever like him.

Kuroo was incredibly smart, had a stable job, was responsible and caring, was very attractive, and on the other hand, Kenma was...Kenma. Just the YouTuber that somehow made it to fame by playing video games every day and hardly ever leaving the house for non-work and non-game reasons. Yeah, impossible.

He hissed through his teeth, wondering if there was some way to shut the internet up and erase all traces of this wretched episode. According to Inuoka during the reunion, people had started writing fanfiction about them. What the heck was fanfiction? Fan-written stories? About real people? There _had_ to be better things to do than write about someone else’s life.

A relentless thought began to probe his mind. What exactly did people write about him? Was it good? Was it bad? He began to feel anxious within, wondering if all that fanfiction was just a reflection of how people saw him. _God_ , he hated this so much. Unable to quench his curiosity, Kenma grudgingly picked up his phone.

.

**all the time in the world that we never got --- kkth.s**

.

_“Tetsurou, please don’t leave me,” Kenma pleaded, his eyes welled up with tears as he gripped desperately onto his boyfriend’s wrist, praying to any god who would listen that this wouldn't be how they end._

_Not after everything, not after they’d come this far..._ why now? _It was just one more fight after the hundreds they’d been through, why couldn’t it be_ anyone _else in the world but his Tetsurou who had to give everything up? Behind them in the open portal, amidst the fiery chaos, the soldiers continued to fruitlessly fight the monster, but Kenma knew that they’d never succeed. By some godforsaken prophecy that Kenma wished he could efface from the world, only that boy he’d grown up with, the man he now called the love of his life could save the city from its suffering._

 _Why did it have to be_ him _? He looked up to see Tetsurou smiling at him softly, moving closer to cup Kenma’s face in his hands once he’d gently shook his grip off. “I love you so much, Kenma,” Tetsurou whispered, leaning in with his forehead touching Kenma’s. “I always have, always will, and I promise that even in our next life, I’ll find you again.”_

 _“T-Tetsurou,” Kenma said in the tiniest voice, clinging on to Tetsurou’s shirt for dear life, tilting his chin up and sealing the gap in a kiss that Kenma never wanted to let go of. He felt Tetsurou kiss him back, their tears falling to the ground in requiem of the future._ Their _future._

_Kenma gasped as Tetsurou broke the kiss, taking the feeling of warmth with him. “Kenma,” he said, and when Kenma looked at him with tears streaming down his cheeks, Tetsurou carefully wiped them away. “Promise me, Kenma,” he said, firmly yet lovingly. “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself. Promise me that you’ll be happy.”_

_“I can’t,” Kenma cried, his hands clinging onto his boyfriend’s. “Please don’t go...”_

_“Kenma, baby, listen,” Tetsurou said, and Kenma could never make sense of how he could still smile so affectionately at this point, “it’s for the city, but more than that, it’s for_ you _. I don’t want you to live in danger anymore, it breaks my heart to know that you have to live every day not sure if there’d be a tomorrow. So Kenma, please let me go.” Tears were flowing down Tetsurou’s face and Kenma would wipe them away, if only it didn’t mean letting go of his hand. “I love you more than anything in the world.”_

 _Tetsurou freed his hand from Kenma, giving him one last smile and mouthing an_ I love you _that Kenma wished he could hear out loud. Then he turned and entered the portal, vanishing when it closed, and taking Kenma’s world with him._

.

Kenma wiped his tears and took in a deep breath. That had been way too emotional for his liking but for some reason, it felt like it could actually happen. Except that he wasn’t in a fantasy world. And except that Kuroo wasn’t his boyfriend.

He didn’t like Kuroo in _that_ way. Certainly not. They were just best friends who’d grown up together, who just happened to be extremely close. Nothing seemed romantic about that. Perhaps Kenma shouldn’t let the fanfiction bother him so much. He closed the tab, returning to the page with the listings of stories. He was bored out of his mind, so maybe he’d read another.

.

**just another day --- the_fanfic_writer123**

.

_“oh my gosh kuro!!!” kenma squeals as he looks at the box of chocolates that his best fren gave him on valentines day. he never thought that kuroo liked him in a non platonic way!!! he places the box at the side and smiles at kuroo before hugging him and looking up._

_“i love you kenma” kuroo says and kisses kenma and kenma feels like his chest is exploding into infinity butterflies because omg kuroo likes him!!! and they kissed for a long time even tho there were people walking around but who cares because they love each other and after a very long time, they walk back home._

_“oof” kenma falls onto the bed and smiles at kuroo again and kuroo joins him on the bed and they cuddle and then make out and spends the rest of the day together. its the best valentines day gift kenma can ever ask for and hes glad it turned out this way._

.

“What the fuck,” Kenma muttered under his breath, cringing and pressing the “X” to get rid of the tab. He didn’t know what he had just read but it had been peculiar, to put it in kind words. That was absolutely cliché and for the _second_ time, he didn’t like Kuroo. Why did the whole KuroKen fanbase think he did?

Well, none of them would understand Kenma as well as Kenma himself did. Kenma shifted to lie down in bed, raising his phone above him though making sure not to drop it on his face. _Just one more,_ he told himself. After that, he’d go to bed.

.

**Forever Yours --- kodzukens_no.1_fan**

.

_“Kenma,” Tetsurou said, waving at the younger boy from outside his classroom. “Let’s go.” He watched as his best friend got up from his desk, taking his backpack and hurrying out with his hoodie over his head. Tetsurou smiled. Every moment he spent with Kenma was a moment he treasured._

_The two of them walked to the rooftop, something that’d become a routine of theirs whenever they had to stay back for club activities. Kenma remained unspeaking throughout, but even so, Tetsurou didn’t mind. They’d always been able to communicate with few words, all the while not compromising their relationship. It was something Tetsurou loved about them --- no one understood him more than Kenma did, despite the fact that Kenma didn’t say much._

_They took a seat at the edge of the rooftop, backs against the short wall. It was empty since most of the students had opted to eat at the cafeteria, though the duo preferred the peaceful environment of the rooftop, where they weren’t surrounded by noisy students. That was what appealed to Tetsurou about the rooftop, and he was sure that Kenma felt the same._

_However, there were times when he became worried, seeing that Kenma followed without protest. Was Kenma just coming along to make him happy? Did Kenma really want to sit at the rooftop instead of the cafeteria? It made him troubled to think that he could be doing something against Kenma’s will. He’d never want to force his best friend into anything._

_Watching Kenma open his lunchbox and start to eat, Tetsurou let those thoughts leave till a later time. “How was your day?” he asked Kenma, opening his lunchbox as well. He picked up a piece of fishcake and gave it to Kenma, knowing that it was his favourite._

_“Fine,” Kenma stated, taking the food that’d been transferred to his box and eating it, a grateful nod accompanying that. “They gave a new project today and it’s due next week.” He continued eating, not further elaborating. Tetsurou was satisfied with that answer. Better than just a “fine”, anyway._

.

His phone dropped from his hands, narrowly missing him and landing on the right beside his head. Kenma flinched, hands lowering to rest on his stomach, leaving the phone to lock automatically after a minute or two.

Now that was just freaky. It seemed like something that’d truly happened. In fact, it might’ve, except that some parts were a little different, even if only to a minimal amount. The way that they were written was pretty accurate too, including where Kenma wasn’t a fan of crowds like some other pieces of writing had failed to show. Coincidence, he concluded, because anything else would be alarming. At least it hadn’t been from his perspective, or that would’ve made it stranger.

Kenma reached over his body and picked up the phone with his left hand, keying his passcode with one finger and continuing to read. With the confession that followed soon after, it dismissed all thoughts of uncertainty in his head. Just a coincidence, nothing more. Kenma scrolled to the top again to check the author’s name and click it.

 **kodzukens_no.1_fan** \--- 7 works

 _Interesting._ Conceivably, it was really just a huge fan living up to their name, somehow able to understand Kenma better than most. He bookmarked the page, saving it for when he woke up because his brain was too tired for this overload of new information, whether or not said information was merely fanfiction. He heaved a sigh, leaving the phone on the small round table beside his bed, then wormed his way under the covers to sleep.

It had been unusual to read about himself being in love with his best friend, Kenma pondered as he closed his eyes. But he _wasn’t_ in love with Kuroo in reality. It was just some ploy that the fans had come up with to spice up their lives and find entertainment for themselves.

Kuroo was just a friend, even if he took great care of Kenma, even if Kenma found his smile attractive, even if he made Kenma feel safe such that he just wanted to snuggle close to Kuroo and fall asleep. Kenma wasn’t in love with Kuroo. The fans and writers couldn’t know better than him about his feelings.

He felt his body relax, his mind clearing and leaving only an image of Kuroo smiling at him. Softly. In a way that made Kenma’s heart flutter and made him wish he could just take a step closer and---

_Fuck._

Kenma jolted upright, panting heavily for a good three seconds before a look of dread took over him. _Oh no, no, no, no, no._

Maybe he really was in love with Kuroo.  
  


* * *

  
  
Whoever “kodzukens_no.1_fan” was, they soon became Kenma’s favourite writer and the one means of escape he had from facing his feelings. At least, the fictional Tetsurou did like Kenma back. Just like how the real Tetsurou never would. When he wasn’t streaming for his YouTube channel, Kenma was curled up in blankets on his bed, laptop in front of him with a page of fanfiction displayed.

Lucky for him, “kodzukens_no.1_fan” was a frequent writer, often coming up with a new story in just a few days. They were all miraculously relatable to Kenma himself, though he did feel a bit bothered that none of them was written from his point-of-view. Perhaps it was the author’s writing style. He could respect that --- Kenma wasn’t the easiest person to write about, after all.

The pieces of fanfiction were interesting, some of which he convinced himself had really happened (like that one where they took a shortcut through the park after school and were caught in the rain) and others that he wished would happen (like that one where Kuroo bought him apple pie when he was sick and stayed by his side). How did they even know what his favourite pastry was? People on the internet either made really informed guesses or might’ve just caught a glimpse of him eating apple pie during one of his streams.

Kenma was completely hooked by the stories that “kodzukens_no.1_fan” produced. They were almost worthy to be called his biggest fan, if only Kuroo didn’t exist and constantly claim the title for himself, which Kenma was unable to deny. He heard a few knocks on his room door turning his head to look at it from the small gaps that allowed light into his blanket cave.

_Pushing the door open gently and walking into their bedroom, Tetsurou smiled at Kenma. “G’morning, kitten,” he said, taking at the side of their bed and turning his upper body to face Kenma, combing his hair tenderly with his fingers. “I made you breakfast, whenever you’re ready to get up.” He was so utterly drunk on love, drunk on this feeling of waking up to see his husband and knowing that Kenma was Tetsurou’s, and Tetsurou was Kenma’s._

The male with bleached blonde hair thrust the blanket to the side, repressing the feeling of his face wanting to burn as the words of the last story he’d read decided it was the perfect time to float into his mind. Kuroo wasn’t his boyfriend, much less his husband. He shut his laptop more aggressively than intended, dragging himself to sit at the edge of his bed. “Hi,” he said to Kuroo, voice coming out robotic.

“...Hi,” Kuroo said, raising an eye at him at the sight of the messy blanket and how dishevelled Kenma looked after spending a night binge-reading fanfiction. “You...okay?”

 _No,_ Kenma wanted to answer, _not at all._ But he wasn’t going to let his best friend find out that he’d been reading fanfiction about the two of them. It would be awkward and embarrassing and everything that Kenma didn’t want. “Very okay,” he said instead.

Kuroo didn’t appear to believe him, though he didn’t pry into the situation. Thank the heavens. “If you say so,” the black-haired man said, nodding his head slowly. “Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to go out for brunch since it’s already close to noon.”

 _It’s...what?_ Kenma blinked, then took his phone from the bedside table and saw the time staring back at him.

`**11.32** AM`

“...Yeah,” he said, locking the screen and looking at Kuroo. “If there are any places with apple pie---”

“No apple pie for lunch,” Kuroo interrupted with a frown, shaking his head. “C’mon, there’s a good ramen place just down the street, I’ll take you there.” Kenma knew there was no use arguing, so he placed his phone back on the table and went to change his clothes.

.

 **kuroken updates** _@krkn_updates_  
SOMEONE SIGHTED THEM IN A RESTAURANT AND IS LIVE STREAMING ON YOUTUBE RN

> **kodzuken’s biggest fan** _@kodzukenfan1_  
>  send link pls  
>  **J ♡** _@jki15_  
>  I mean like fuck privacy, amirite?

.

[crazy fan] **KUROKEN AT HOPPU RAMEN** \--- LIVE  
_862,135views • 30 November 2018_

 **STAN DAY6** oh my gosh it’s really them  
**kodzuken_notice_me** NOTICE ME KODZUKEN  
**insert funny name** @kodzuken_notice_me i doubt he’s actually watching the stream rn  
**catgirl82849** PRIVACY, PEOPLE, PRIVACY-

.

**Trending**

#kuroken  
_531K Tweets_

Kodzuken  
_356K Tweets_

MSBY Black Jackals  
_3624K Tweets_

tetsurou  
_227K Tweets_

kenma  
_190K Tweets_

.

It’d been a long time since Kenma had found himself out of the house for a meal. Most of the time, he either got a takeaway or ate instant noodles. His time was better off spent on his gaming (and reading fanfiction as of late). One hand holding his phone and the other bringing the coffee cup to his lips, Kenma checked his inbox, pleased to find that the video he’d made with Hinata had gotten popular pretty quickly.

“Oi, Kenma, don’t use your phone while you’re eating,” Kuroo said, sighing as he reached over to pluck the phone out of Kenma’s grip. “You can continue doing whatever you’re doing once we’re done.” He picked up the chopsticks beside Kenma’s bowl, handing them to him.

Kenma pouted, taking the chopsticks only when he realised that Kuroo wasn’t going to back down till he ate. The ramen was good, though. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he’d had such a pleasurable meal. The soup base was salty, but not overly, and the noodles were of the perfect texture, according to Kenma. He was starting to regret not going out for meals more often.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Kuroo asked, a smile of anticipation on his face.

Licking the soup off his lips, Kenma nodded. “It’s good,” he confirmed, voicing his thoughts. _Much better than instant ramen._ He continued to eat with his mask under his chin, the backsplash from noodles falling back into the soup occasionally hitting him in trifling amounts.

Things had changed since the day that Kuroo’s identity had been given away to the world. It’d used to be only Kenma wearing a mask, but now it was both of them, even though Kenma was pretty sure Kuroo’s bedhead was easy enough for anybody who’d seen him to recognise. He broke out of his daze, eyes fixed on Kuroo’s food.

“Want some?” Kuroo asked, noticing that Kenma had been staring at the fishcake in his bowl. Kenma didn’t have to respond for Kuroo to know his answer. With a smile that Kenma could tell was present without looking at his best friend’s face, Kuroo picked up the fishcake with his chopsticks and placed it in Kenma’s bowl. “There.”

Kenma thanked him and continued eating. At the end of the forty-minute long brunch, Kenma was willing to bet that if anyone had recognised them during their meal, “KuroKen” was definitely going to start trending on social media again, more than it had already.

(He was right.)  
  


* * *

  
  
**I want you for real --- kodzukens_no.1_fan**

.

_“Well, that worked,” Tetsurou remarked, slinging an arm around Kenma in their usual friendly way. “No more blind dates, thanks to you.” He grinned at his fake boyfriend, who only offered a shrug. Tetsurou hadn’t expected any more than that --- Kenma had only done it after much persuasion and the bribery of a video game, since he’d never been the kind to like attention, and being in a relationship would likely include that._

_“No need to thank me,” Kenma said, still glued to the game on his PSP, “just remember to head to the video games store on---”_

_“Saturday, to get the latest release of the video game that’s been plastered on the billboards all over the city,” Kuroo completed his sentence. “Kingdom of the Seven Dragons, isn't it?” The lack of Kenma’s correction made it apparent that he had gotten it right and Kuroo felt a childish sense of pride at that._

_The two of them walked side by side, back to their neighbouring houses to_

.

Reading the last sentence he’d stopped midway while typing, Kuroo pursed his lips. No, that was _way_ too obvious. The media had yet to find out about how he and Kenma had been neighbours throughout their childhood and up until the end of their Kuroo’s high school days. Kuroo’s fingers lingered over the backspace key before deleting the suspicion-raising parts of the sentence.

.

_The two of them walked side by side to the subway station. “I mean it though,” Tetsurou said quietly, as though what he was saying hadn’t been plentifully obvious, “thank you.” The corners of his lips curved up in a genuine smile. He’d really appreciated it, especially since they’d also ended up becoming each other’s first kiss because of an entire fake dating scheme, which he initially feared was against what Kenma wanted._

_But not against Tetsurou’s desires. As he watched Kenma pause the game, slowing his footsteps to a stop, Tetsurou moved to the side of the pavement. The bustling world seemed to calm down tremendously, with Tetsurou standing opposite Kenma, parallel to the roads a few feet away. There was a slight look of concern on Tetsurou’s face, the boy fretting something was wrong._

_And then Kenma smiled._

_Tetsurou felt the world stop._

_He didn’t hear what Kenma said. The more he looked at Kenma’s mouth moving, the more he thought about how he’d kissed those lips earlier that day (even if it’d been just for an act), and the more he felt something compelling him to do it again..._

_Fuck. This had all been a huge mistake. How could he ask the very person he was thoroughly in love with to be his fake boyfriend and not expect to fall even harder? Tetsurou deserved an award for the “worst decision-maker in the world”._

_“Kuro?” the younger male said, waving his hand in front of Tetsurou in a cautious manner. “Are you alright?”_

_Tetsurou knew he wasn’t, and he wouldn't be until he told Kenma the truth. “I...Kenma...” His words betrayed him, none of them willing to venture out into the open. Finally, Tetsurou let out an unsteady breath, his hand trembling as he raised it to Kenma’s face. _I’m sorry,_ he apologised to his best friend internally, then he bent down just enough to close the distance between their lips._

_He broke the kiss as quickly as he’d initiated it, far from ample to tell if Kenma had kissed him back. His mind was screaming at him to apologise, but as he witnessed Kenma’s expression change from one of shock, to one of confusion, he couldn’t find it in himself to speak._

_“Kuro,” Kenma started, sounding like he was picking his words carefully, “there’s no one around.”_

_“I know,” Tetsurou replied, his voice at the brink of inaudibility. “I just wanted to kiss you.” He lowered his hand to his side again, his fingers gripping nervously onto the hem of his track jacket. “I love you, Kenma. Ever since my last year of junior high, I’ve known that you’re the only one I want as my partner. I don't want to just pretend that we’re dating anymore...if you’re willing, will you be my boyfriend for real this time?”_

_He saw Kenma’s lower lip quivering then forming into an unmistakable smile. “Idiot,” Kenma mumbled, a soft laugh escaping his lips. He didn’t say yes or no, but when Kenma put one hand on Tetsurou’s shoulder and lifted his chin to kiss him again, his answer spoke more than a thousand words could ever say._

.

Kuroo smiled once he’d completed his story, then his smile faded into a dejected look. It was becoming increasingly ridiculous, how the fictional Tetsurou he’d written had confessed to Kenma exactly seventeen times, yet all this while, the real Tetsurou was hopelessly pining for his crush with no plans on confessing soon.

He sighed, head hitting gently against the bed’s headboard. If only he had even just a tenth of fictional Tetsurou’s courage, he could possibly be living those fantasies he’d typed into fiction. _Tetsu, get yourself together,_ he chided, making one final check of his work before publishing it, then shutting his laptop off for the night.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, he tried telling himself, but only the tiniest naive part of him actually believed it. He pressed his pillows at either side of his head, a muffled groan escaping his mouth. Why was reality so difficult? Why couldn’t it be as easy as fiction? He forced his eyes to close, trying his best to keep his mind on the television commercial that he’d seen sometime that day, or honestly literally anything but Kenma and the accursed fanfiction he couldn’t stop writing.  
  


* * *

  
  
On the fifth of December, two days after Kuroo had posted his last work on the fanfiction site, he’d gathered enough courage to confess. First, though, he’d have to try and fathom what exactly was Kenma’s opinion on the shipping. With it blowing up all over the internet, a fraction of Kuroo feared that even if Kenma agreed, it’d be because he was pressurised by those strangers who by right, shouldn’t have any control in their lives. And what better way was there than to bring up their ship?

So Kuroo found himself sitting awfully still beside Kenma, running through his head what would be the best way to approach the topic and what were the possible outcomes. After much time spent on contemplation, during which Kenma had shot him perplexed looks at intervals as if trying to read his mien, Kuroo narrowed down to three possible outcomes:

a) what he hoped for, that Kenma would show interest in the ship and in Kuroo. In this case, Kuroo would be able to confess without worrying about being rejected.

b) what the pessimistic part of him expected, that Kenma would be disgusted by the shipping. In this case, Kuroo would just brush it off as an innocent question and drown himself in his tears once he was back to his room.

c) what was most likely, that Kenma wouldn’t give a shit. In this case, everything would just be the same and Kuroo would hold back on confessing.

Now it was time to head into the action. “Kenma,” he said, turning his head to find that Kenma was already staring at him. “Can I...ask you something?”

Kuroo gulped as his best friend continued looking at him with his cat-like orbs. “Go on,” he said, the most undetectable sense of urgency in his voice that Kuroo would’ve missed should he not have been paying full attention.

“...What do you think about the shipping? Us, I mean. ‘KuroKen’, that’s what they call us, right?” He followed his words with anxious laughter, clearly behaving unnaturally.

Kenma averted his eyes, pulling his legs onto the cushion of the couch to sit cross-legged. He was fidgeting with his fingers over his lap, Kuroo observed. That was not particularly a sign of interest, neither was it of disgust or plain indifference. “It’s okay, I guess...” Kenma answered, eyes darting everywhere but his best friend. “I don’t hate it...”

Perhaps this was the possibility Kuroo had failed to consider:

d) that Kenma seemed as apprehensive as he, but not showing any positivity or negativity towards that matter. In this case...Kuroo had no idea what to do.

“Oh,” Kuroo said dumbly, “that’s good.” Both of them sat taciturnly for another five seconds, before the older male stood up abruptly. “I’m gonna go feed the cat,” he excused himself in a flurry of words that blended together almost fully.

“Kuro, we don’t have a---”

“My phone game! That...that...shit, I forgot what it’s called.” He hastily returned to his room before he could hear anything else Kenma said. Only when he slammed the door shut --- a little too loudly --- and slid into a seated position with his back against the door, was he finally able to breathe again.

 _God_ , Kuroo was truly a mess.

.

** how to confess to the person you wrote fanfics about **  
_About 31,000,000 results_  
  


* * *

  
  
When he woke up in the wee hours of the morning a week after his first (failed) attempt at preparing for his confession to Kenma, Kuroo decided it was about damn time he got his life together. He’d spent the past seven days thinking about Kenma’s reaction --- how he'd been fiddling with his fingers, how he’d been avoiding eye contact, how he wasn’t really _against_ the idea of dating Kuroo. That _had_ to mean something other than apathy. The problem was, Kuroo didn’t know what.

The internet was of little help (ironically, since its users seemed to have plenty of time to write about other people’s lives), leaving Kuroo to solve his own problems. Not that anyone could’ve solved them for him, anyway. Nonetheless, courtesy of some suggestions on online forums, Kuroo had formed the _perfect_ plan to confess his feelings once and for all.

Dressed in his work attire before he’d have to leave for the office, so as to make the whole exchange a completely casual one that wouldn't raise any scepticism, Kuroo knocked on Kenma’s room door a few times. “Come in,” he heard his best friend say, and having been given instruction, Kuroo entered. “What is it?” Kenma asked, evidently still half-asleep as he sat up in bed.

“I got tickets to a movie on Saturday,” Kuroo announced, flashing a smile as he held up two tickets he’d taken out of his pocket. “Wanna go with me? It’s the latest action blockbuster and---”

“Sure,” Kenma cut him off with a lazy answer, much to Kuroo’s surprise. The younger man then collapsed onto his side again, curling up on his bed with the blanket covering most of his body. “Just remind me on Friday night.”

Kuroo stared at him blankly. That had gone smoother than he’d thought it would. He wasn’t complaining about that, though. “Friday night, it is,” he singsonged, leaving the room with an uncontrollable victorious grin spreading across his face.  
  


* * *

  
  
The movie “date” on Saturday never came.

Instead, Kuroo found himself standing beside Kenma’s bed for the utmost time that morning, watching his best friend wrapped up in his blankets like a cocoon. “I’ll get you some ibuprofen,” he said with a sigh, mildly disappointed at the cancellation of plans but even more distressed as to how Kenma had gone from completely fine in the night before to looking like he was half-dead when he’d woken up.

Kuroo had taken Kenma’s temperature at least three times, all of which suggested that he had a moderate fever. It wasn’t to the extent he needed medical help at the clinic, but he certainly wasn’t in the right condition to go for a movie. “Take this,” he directed, passing Kenma a glass of warm water and a pill.

Kenma obediently swallowed the pill and drank half the glass before placing it on his bedside table. “Sorry,” he apologised, seemingly feeling guilty that he’d been unable to hang out with Kuroo as agreed upon.

“It’s no big deal,” Kuroo assured him, giving him a half-smile. “You should get more rest. It doesn’t seem like you’ve gotten much this week.” He slid his hands into his pockets, twiddling with the lengths of loose thread inside. “I’ll be back in around half an hour. In the meanwhile, you should probably sleep.” Kenma simply nodded, lying down on his bed again. Kuroo took one last look at him and left the room.

.

** bakeries near me **  
_About 1,870,000,000 results_

.

Kenma had looked extremely glum that morning, and so Kuroo had decided that if he couldn't take Kenma anywhere to cheer him up, the least he could do was to get him his favourite food --- apple pie. Unfortunately, Kenma’s favourite bakery wasn’t open at this time of the day, so Kuroo settled for whatever was the closest that had good reviews. He could always get Kenma’s favourite once the store opened later that day.

After unlocking the apartment door with one hand and holding the plastic bag with the pie in a box with the other, Kuroo kicked the door open lightly and stepped in, letting it close behind him. From how quiet it was, he guessed that Kenma had yet to awake, which was great news because it meant that Kenma was sleeping well.

He stopped by the kitchen to get some metal cutlery, then headed to his best friend’s room. “Can I come in?” he asked, opening the door just the necessary for his voice to travel through. A low grumble and the sound of Kenma’s blanket shuffling was his cue to enter. “I got you apple pie,” he said, shutting the door and walking to the bed, taking the box of pie out of the plastic bag and putting it on the table.

“Thank you,” Kenma said from under the blanket, coming out several seconds later. His hair was a complete mess, his eyes still half-lidded as well. The younger man shifted to sit at the edge of the bed and opened the box, taking the fork from the other.

Kuroo smiled, sitting next to him and not saying a word as he looked at Kenma eating, glad to see that he was enjoying the food. “I’ll get you your favourite tomorrow,” Kuroo commented as Kenma finished the pie approximately ten minutes later, licking his lips to get the crumbs off and closing the now-empty box, leaving it on the table with the fork on top.

“There’s no need to,” Kenma said bluntly, though his gaze was fixed to the floor and not on Kuroo. “You paid for ramen the other day, and you just bought me pie today. You spend...a lot on me.” He was only stating facts, which Kuroo found that he hadn’t been paying attention to till now. It didn’t bother him, however. He’d never minded spending his money to treat Kenma to good food or things he liked.

“It’s just a pie,” Kuroo said, ignoring the fact that Kenma had mentioned more than that. “And it’s fine, I’m doing it willingly.”

Playing with the end of the blanket he’d dragged onto his lap, Kenma didn’t respond.

It was hard to tell what he was thinking then. Did he feel bad about Kuroo buying him things? But Kuroo liked doing it --- it wasn’t like he was forced to do so. “I’m serious,” Kuroo continued, somewhat falling into a ramble of his thoughts, “I really don’t mind spending money on you, especially if it makes you happy.”

He closed his eyes, a wave of calm surging through him before he turned his head just the amount he needed to glimpse at his best friend. “It’s comforting to see you smile, y’know?” Kuroo said, a dreamlike sensation vanquishing him. “Makes it feel like the world’s a million times brighter and not so bleak anymore.”

Kenma froze.

Like the climax of a movie causing the world to slow down around the protagonist, each scene playing as though in slow motion, the room went impossibly silent in the span of a heartbeat. Kuroo’s blood ran cold and a strong feeling of déjà vu accompanied by a terrifying understanding swept over him --- hadn’t he written that in one of his pieces of fanfiction?

 _God fucking dammit._ He shouldn’t have let his guard down so carelessly. He shouldn't have etched that sentence into his memory. He shouldn’t have said that to Kenma. _Oh no, no, no._ How could he make such a fundamental mistake? No way would anyone believe him if he said that he’d just sprouted that out of thin air at that very second. Nigh on half a minute passed with Kuroo coming up with futile excuses to convince Kenma that he hadn’t read that work (or to be more precise, _written_ it). He’d undoubtedly ruined everything, and now he had to think of how he was going to---

_Wait._

If Kenma could recognise that sentence, didn’t it mean that...he’d read it too?

“...‘Because It’s You’,” Kenma said in a meek voice, naming the very work that Kuroo’s mind had extracted that sentence from. He’d stopped toying with the blanket, but Kuroo could see that Kenma’s grip on the fabric had become tighter, his fingers clutching onto it and creating faint creases.

The black-haired male couldn’t tell if his heart was about to stop or if it just got countless times faster. “You...read that?” he asked, words fading into the void towards the end.

“... _You_ read that?” his best friend threw the question back at him.

Kuroo’s mouth felt dry. “I _wrote_ it,” he said raspily. And then the weight of what he’d said dawned upon him in a moment that felt like eons. _Kuroo Tetsurou, you fucking genius._ “A-Actually, I mean that I...” He had no idea how to continue that sentence. (Thus he didn’t.)

He paid attention to Kenma’s facial expression, watching his dismay change to shock and subsequently to amusement. His lips twitched a few times before he covered his face with his hands, shaking continuously.

“...Kenma?” Kuroo hesitantly said, then reached forward and gently shifted Kenma’s hands to the side, following with a look of stupefaction. “You... _Kenma_! Are you laughing at me?!” All traces of uncertainty faded away and Kuroo rolled onto his back, covering up his own laughter with Kenma’s blanket. “Fuck, we really messed this up, didn’t we?” he said as he sat up with a long breath once the two had regained their composure.

“I can’t believe you wrote _fanfics_ about us,” Kenma remarked, throwing his pillow at Kuroo, who caught it and hugged it to his chest before pouting at his best friend, a distinct blush rising up his cheeks.

“Let’s pretend it never happened,” he declared, smirking at the other who rolled his eyes fondly. “I promise I won’t write any more.”

Kenma stuck his tongue out at Kuroo. “Better not.”

 _I won’t,_ Kuroo swore in his head. _Reality’s much better anyway._ He lunged forward and enveloped Kenma in a bear hug, not letting go even when Kenma warned him that he was still sick, to which Kuroo proclaimed that he couldn’t care less and that Kenma could spread him all the germs he wanted to.

“What d’ya think the internet will have to say about this?” he asked Kenma, securing his arms around him.

He heard Kenma huff. “To hell with what they think,” he talked under his breath. “Let them say whatever they want.” Kuroo didn’t contend.

Gradually, as minutes passed imperceptibly, he sensed Kenma’s smile turn to a serious look and heard him ask, “So...what does that make us now?”

Kuroo pulled away and contemplated the question for a while. “Well, I think you can tell that I’m crazy in love with you, and judging from how you were reading my works, I would assume that you feel the same.” A smirk spread across his face, slowly but surely, and he cocked his head to the side and then exhaled. “And that would make us...” he started, voice trailing off at the last word.

“Boyfriends,” Kenma finished his sentence. “That would make us boyfriends.”

“Only after I ask you out,” Kuroo teased, leaning closer till he toppled onto his side, and Kenma lay down to face him, mumbling something along the lines of “make it snappy”. Seeing the impatience in Kenma’s eyes, Kuroo chuckled, one hand outstretched to caress the side of Kenma’s face. “Kozume Kenma, world-famous Kodzuken, my one and only, the love of my---”

Kenma tilted his chin up and cut Kuroo off in a kiss.

And Kuroo melted into the kiss, pulling Kenma closer and savouring this very moment he’d written so many times he’d forgotten how it’d feel until the real deal pounced upon him and _god damn_ , all those stupid typewritten kisses he’d spent his nights dreaming about would _never_ compare to this. Eyes closed, fingers entangled in Kenma’s hair, Kuroo relished the feeling of his boyfriend in his arms, kissing him for every moment they’d missed and for every moment that was yet to come.

His _boyfriend_.

Kuroo smiled for an instant against Kenma’s lips.

He could never get tired of saying that.

**Author's Note:**

>  **"you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."**  
> 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this because i rly had fun writing it lmao (｀▽´) feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments!!
> 
> also if you would like to scream at/with me on tumblr --> ([x](https://hq-iteza.tumblr.com/))
> 
> and to one of my discord friends s**** who helped me come up with random things for this fic like usernames and such: thank you & ily!!!!! <3


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